How I Loved A Hateful Love Story

Excerpts from a conversation:

"Ooooh. Nice seats."
"Oh! National anthem."
"Yeah. We are early. How nice!"
"P J!?! Really? Ummm."
"Nope. Just his production house."

**Silence**
 Half hour later.....
 "OMG! How many times will they repeat the same freaking lines!!?!! I don't believe in love. I don't believe in love. Aaaargh!"
"Yeah. Its like whispering into your ears the first time, then shaking you and then hitting you on the head repeatedly, all the while screaming; "Get the point, get the point??? Look! Here is the message!!! Written down in bold black ink. Get it now???"
"Haan. And the background narration guy is rambling on like its a bludy murder mystery."
"Oye. Are you liking your film?"
"I just cannot believe how bad this movie is."

10 minutes later...
"Oh look! Rain. Cliche."
"And bad eye makeup looking worse."
"Does she have a line on the right side of her face?"
"Ummm. I don't know about the line but somethings up with her eyes."
"Oh yaa. She has bags under her eyes!"
"I'm telling you. What she needs is Kareena's eye make up guy."
"Whatever. Both of their acting sucks. Gosh!"

Some many minutes later....
"Why is the freaking superstar giving an assistant love advice in a party? In what world does that happen? And shouldn't he be surrounded by his people anyways?"
"PJ has finally lost it completely!"
"Ohhh....How sweet is that? Now the boss is being all shrink like."
"I think the guy looks better than the girl. But both their acting is equally sad."
Oye. Tu chup kyu hain? So gaya kya?  
"I cannot believe how bad this movie is."

Many more minutes later...
"My bed is looking something like this. I need to clean up"
"You're telling me. I left my bed looking like this thousands of miles away."
"It is almost ending and we finally get some outdoor shots. Kuch toh paisa vasool hua."
"Man. She is really looking tired. Even with all that makeup.
"She was overweight baba. Has lost some 40 kgs if not more."
"Haan? Impressive! Tabhi chalta phirta westside ka ad ban ke ghoom rahi hain. How did she do it?"
"And look at her hair. So limp. So much of product. Loreal ka chalta phirta signboard. But such nice legs she has."
"She really needs to get herself some smokey eye makeup. See how she was looking better with specks?"

Oye. Humein is sadee si movie me lake so gaya kya???"
"Nah. He is planning to go meet her after this gets over, with ice packs and tea bags. Fan hain na."
"Yeh soch raha hain ki main in dono ladkiyon ko kyu leke aaya is movie ke liye. Ab main Sonam ko kisi bhi nazar se dekh nahi sakta."
"Don't worry baba. This is how girls talk. Sometimes. We will be our serene selves later. We promise!"
"I'm listening to your being over critical and I cannot believe just how bad this movie is" 

-The most fun I had in a bad movie in the year 2010. I miss the lovely nutty people I went with.
Also can you imagine talking this much and more in a movie hall and not getting shushed? Even once? Maybe the conversation was more entertaining than the movie itself.....

Reposted From 2010 Candid Talk Drafts

Image Courtesy: The Internet